TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED
10. No one ever steals your chair.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.
4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."
3. Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.
2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan
And ...(drum roll) ... the NUMBER ONE REASON to go to work naked :Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.
Office Buzz Words and Phrases for the 21st Century
BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM An office filled with cubicles.
MOUSE POTATO The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
TREEWARE Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
XEROX SUBSIDY Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
CHIPS & SALSA Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)
SALMON DAY The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get scr*wed and die in the end.
CLM (Career Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
404 Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404, man."