Only in Canada ...

1. Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 
'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

You know you're from Canada when ...

1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

3. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

4. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

5. You carry jumper cables in your car and your  girlfriend knows how to use them.

6. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

7. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

8. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

9. You find -40C a little chilly.

10. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.

11. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.

12. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

13. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".

How Canada Got Its Name 

When Sir John A. MacDonald and Friends were trying to figure out the name of this great place, someone had a great idea. Let's stick all the letters into a hat and draw 3 of them That will be the new name of this place. So they did so. 1st letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "C" eh!? 2nd letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "N" eh!? 3rd letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "D" eh!?

Some Canadian Facts

• Canada has six time zones.
• Canada is the second largest country in the world, surpassed only by the Russian Federation.
• For seven consecutive years, the United Nations has chosen Canada as the best country in the world in which to live.
• Capital: Ottawa, in the province of Ontario.
• Canada has 10 provinces and 3 territories.
• There are many climatic variations in this huge country, ranging from the permanently frozen icecaps north of the 70th parallel to the luxuriant vegetation of British Columbia's west coast.
• Canada maintains 38 national parks, which cover about 2% of the country's landmass.
• There are some two million lakes in Canada, covering about 7.6% of the Canadian landmass.
• Canada is a constitutional monarchy and a federal state with a democratic parliament.
• Since the 1965 introduction of the Canadian flag, the maple leaf has become the country's most important symbol.
• Canada ranks sixth in the world in standard of living. 
• Basic health care, with the exception of dental services, is free at the point of delivery.
• Canada has two official languages: English, the mother tongue of about 59% of Canadians; and French, the first language of 23% of the population.
• The principal natural resources are natural gas, oil, gold, coal, copper, iron ore, nickel, potash, uranium and zinc, along with wood and water.
• Canada's leading exports are automobile vehicles and parts, machinery and equipment, high-technology products, oil, natural gas, metals, and forest and farm products. 

CANADIANS ARE TOUGH ! ! !

• 40F degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably - Canadians sunbathe.

• 35F degrees-Italian cars won't start - Canadians drive with the windows down.

• 20F degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats - Canadians throw on a T-shirt.

• 15F degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state - Canadians go swimming.

• Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heat - Canadians have the last BBQ before it gets cold.

• 10F degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist - Canadians lick flagpoles.

• 20F degrees below zero-Californians fly away to Mexico - Canadians throw on a light jacket.

• 80F degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic - Canada Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

• 100F degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

• 173F degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes - Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

• 297F degrees below zero-Microbial life startS to disappear - Canadian pets complain of owners with cold hands.

• 460F degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops - Canadians start saying "chilly - - you feeling cold?"

• 500F degrees below zero-Hell freezes over - Canadians dress for hockey practice !!!